One of These Nigths
by Tomoe2
Summary: Kenshin has settled down but his past keeps haunting him. Spoilers for both OVA.


_Anata…_

Kenshin woke up. He touched his scar. He looked at his hand. He'd expected blood. He felt his heightened heartbeat. His sweaty yukata stuck to his body. His hair, plastered across his forehead, obstructed his view. It was one of those nights.

He sat up and waited for the dizziness if not to pass, to subside slightly. He pushed the sticky hair off his forehead. Did he have a fever? Hard to tell. He chanced a look on the futon next to his. Kaoru slept with the carelessness of a child. He envied her. Slowly, he got up and tightened his jimbei. He lifted the mosquito net and made for the door. He had to hold on to the frame to avoid collapsing. He closed his eyes, resting his forehead on the cool wood.

 _The bleeding, it has stopped. I'm glad._

He felt his stomach rise. Barefooted, he rushed to a corner of the garden and vomited. His stomach emptied, he leaned against a tree. His body shook uncontrollably. He desperately tried to keep his eyes open. The images came. Like the glint of a sword in the moonlight, they showed just enough of the horror to come. Blood, so much blood.

He brought his fist to his mouth and bit it hard. It smarted, but not enough to bring him back to reality for good. He saw them, saw their faces. He heard them, heard their cries for mercy. He smelled them, smelled their blood.

 _You really make it rain._

He willed himself to come back to the present. For a moment, he couldn't tell when that was. Then, suddenly, he was back in the garden. Shakily, he walked to the dojo. He held the visions at bay. On the stairs, he saw a dying man. He reached for his sword. His hand found nothing. He blinked. The man was gone. He climbed the stairs and let himself in.

He walked across the smooth wooden floor. His eyes focused on the Kamiya Kashin Ryu Motto. His strength flagged. He feared his visions would engulf him before he'd reach the tokonoma. He clenched his teeth and soldiered on. From the alcove, he grabbed his sword. The smoothness of the saya took him back to the end of the bakumatsu. Arai handed him the sakabato.

 _Maybe you can do some good with this._

He leaned back against the wall and let himself slide down. Visions of her assailed him. Her smile. Her journaling. Her white hand tending the fields for the first time. He held his sword upright against his chest. Tears welled in his eyes. Her soft touch. Her embrace. He covered his mouth with his free hand. He muffled a sob. Tears rolled down his face. His hand shook in front of his mouth. He tried to clamp it, but he couldn't breathe. His vision narrowed. Was this dying? He shut his eyes and rest his forehead on his knees. He pulled at his hair. He tried to take deep breath but his body didn't cooperate. He sobbed, trying his best to remain quiet.

He felt the door open and close but couldn't tell if this was really happening now. He lifted his head. A silhouette with long black hair and a white kimono walked towards him. His eyes widened.

"I'm sorry. Please. I'm so sorry."

His words got lost in his sobs. Through his tears, he watched as the woman came and sat next to him. He focused on her face. A flash image of her covered in blood. He recoiled and shut his eyes.

"I am here, Kenshin."

That voice. That scent. Wrong. Different He opened his eyes again and stared at the woman. Not Tomoe. Megumi. He covered his eyes and cried. Megumi reached for his free hand and took it in hers, as she always did.

"I am here," she repeated.

 **NOTE**

I imagine that after all Kenshin lived through, he would suffer from PTSD. I figure it would start manifesting itself one he had truly settled down. I also like to think that he busied himself trying to save the world in order to keep his mind busy and immersed in action. I chose Megumi as his moral support because I believe Kaoru would fret too much. Megumi seems like a more mature character. This one shot can easily insert itself in the context of my two other Kenshin stories, Forgotten Ties and Tangled memories.


End file.
